What is a Gold Star Family?
Being a Gold Star family (or, more correctly, a Gold Star American Family) is a somewhat dubious honor. No one really wants to be a Gold Star Family member – but when you’re part of a Blue Star Family (an honor we should all be proud of), the chance is always there.
What is a Blue Star Family?

Service members don’t really serve alone.
In 2015, it was reported that a total of 1,728,710 family members served alongside an Active Duty service member they were related to. Of that number, 641,639 were spouses – and 1,076,803 were children.
The immediate family members of any Active Duty service member (regardless of their military branch) during any time of conflict are considered to be a Blue Star Family.
America has been at war for approximately 93% of our existence as an independent nation, since 1776. For the first time in our history, children born while their fathers fought in the Afghanistan war are now legally old enough to fight in that same conflict. And if not in Afghanistan, then Iran or any other rising war.
The US is ranked first in a list of 137 countries considered for the annual Global Firepower (GFP) review. Even if you aren’t living in a prevalent military community, chances are high you at least know someone who is part of a Blue Star Family. You might be one yourself.
Recognizing a Blue Star Family

While not all do, many Blue Star Families display the Blue Star Flag. WWI Army Captain Robert L. Queisser designed the flag while having two sons on active duty on the front line. It soon became the unofficial symbol of what is now known as a Blue Star Family.
If you ever see a Blue Star Flag displayed – typically hung in the residential window – the number of stars on display will tell you how many immediate family members are currently serving in the Armed Forces.
How Gold Star Families Are Different

Gold Star Families are immediate family members of a fallen service member. When an Active Duty service member dies while serving their country, their Blue Star Family becomes a Gold Star Family.
As of 2018, approximately 15,851 Active Duty personnel and mobilized reservists died serving their country.
However, only 28% of those deaths (approximately 4,510) died in war-related activities, with the majority occurring in Iran and Afghanistan. Approximately 2,011 were related to IEDs (improvised explosive devices). And of the remaining +/-2,499 casualties, many were unrelated to battlefield injury or accident.
All told, only about 17.1% of all Active Duty military personnel that die were killed in action; 5.5% died of wounds and less than 1% died as a result of terrorist activities or when captured.
These are the deaths that qualify surviving family members to be considered a Gold Star Family. However, any military deaths that are not considered “dishonorable” (suicide, 22.3%) may also qualify.
Recognizing a Gold Star Family

A Gold Star Family will display the Gold Star Service Flag in memory of loved ones lost to war. The flag design was sanctioned by President Wilson in 1918 after the Women’s Committee Council of National Defenses put the suggestion forward.
The WCCND petitioned the mothers of military casualties could wear a gilt gold star on their traditional black mourning armband. Since then, the gold star has been traditionally pinned over (or otherwise replacing) the blue star, signifying that the serving family member passed.
Similar to the Blue Star Flag, the number of gold stars corresponds with the number of individual immediate family members who died in Active Duty. While separate flags can be made, it’s still considered traditional to sew the gold over the blue, so the blue forms a thin border.
Additionally, a Gold Star Family may wear Gold Star lapel pins, established in 1947 and issued by the US Department of Defense. Only spouses, parents, children, siblings, step-parents, stepchildren, step-siblings, half-siblings, adoptive parents, adoptive children and adoptive siblings are permitted to display the Gold Star Service Flag, which should be hung in the residential window.
The only exception to the limitation of persons authorized to display the Gold Star Service Flag is that of an organization. If an employee suffers an honorable death during hostilities or war-related activities as an Active Duty service member, the organization is permitted to honor their sacrifice.
Gold Star Mother’s and Family Day

In June 1936, a joint congressional resolution was passed to recognize the last Sunday of September each year as Gold Star Mother’s Day. It’s believed that President Wilson was the one to coin the term “Gold Star Mother,” but this is uncertain.
President Obama amended the resolution in 2011, creating Gold Star Family’s Day. All other Gold Star Family members are given equal recognition and consideration on this day now, recognizing that the sacrifice of military spouses is just as great – and sometimes greater – than that of military mothers.
How to Honor Blue and Gold Star Families
The conflicts in the Middle East have been ongoing for several decades now – and, as mentioned earlier, the US has been involved in wars for about 93% of our existence as an independent nation. Considering this fact, it’s become easier for the average American to forget the significance of both Blue and Gold Star Families.
Simply by recognizing the meaning behind both flags, as well as the Gold Star Lapel, you’re already recognizing those families and their sacrifices. This knowledge, recognition and respect goes a long way in honoring the Fallen and those who are currently deployed.
Organizations such as Hope For The Warriors and American Gold Star Families offer different programs. Funds are raised to help active service members, veterans and military families – both Blue and Gold Star. Their aim is to help restore a sense of hope, family and self, while focusing on health, well-being, peer-engagement, community and transition.
By supporting such organizations, you can help to honor and support Blue and Gold Star Families.